dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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