Whod you bang
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
