I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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