Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Did I show you my penis last night?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
