im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have demons in me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
