i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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