never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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