win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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