3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
