AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
