mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My penis needs a shock collar
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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