I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
