she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
