you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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