you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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