At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
