Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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