Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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