Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
