96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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