"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
