I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
