just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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