Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
