Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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