So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
