here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
