I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize