is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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