Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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