did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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