I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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