this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
