Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize