I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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