i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
