i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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