Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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