dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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