brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
