He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
