your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
