I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
