I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
