i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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