Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
