i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
