Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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