check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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