sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
