with your own penis?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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