I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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