gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
