What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize