Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
