if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
