When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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