If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
