when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
