what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I need to sanitize my soul.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
