Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
