it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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