I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
