It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
