We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
